Easy Lies the Head That Wears the Tiara

Whew! Have you ever had a short week that seems very long yet you have no time to do what you want to do... like write your post for the week? Well, that's been my week. I don't mind when fun interrupts writing, but how dare work interfere with it? When you work in customer service for a software company and your entire network hosting center crashes and your systems fade to black, blog posts are shoved to the bottom of the agenda quickly! But, it's Friday, my work week is now over, and it's looking like a great maize and blue Michigan weekend! I can't wait for it to start!

I spent the past weekend in Northern Michigan with seven of my girlfriends on our 24th Annual Girls Weekend. I wrote about this annual trek last year not long after I started this blog. It's a time we look forward to as a group, partly for the shopping, serious girl talk and chick flick wallows. It's also our time for relentless wine and beer "tasting" and some friendly group football rivalries. This year we topped it all off, so to speak, by sporting beautiful tiaras with genuine faux diamantes everywhere.

Tiaras for World Peace and Adult Beverages; U-M alums
are 4th (my MGoFriend Val) and 7th (MGoGirl) from left.
The rest of the crowd boasts Badger & Spartan alums, 
Spartan moms, Hurons, & ladies too sweet to pick sides.

Photo credit: Harbor, Inc.

On Saturday, our day trip led us to Harbor Springs to visit Pond Hill Farm's Tunnel Vision Brewery and Winery, followed by a royal appearance at the inaugural Harbor Springs Beer Festival. The two of us who are Michigan alumnae were very aware of being knee deep in Spartan shi.., er... territory. Green coats and hats and other dreary, mossy-looking apparel surrounded us at every turn although I sensed other U-M fans were among us. As we know, the Wolverine is a much more elusive and stealthy killer beast than the noisy, muscle-bound Spartan! It was all very civil and fun as we smiled and waved our way about town. I can tell you, a boldly worn tiara at a public venue may be the answer to world peace. Spartans, Wolverines, and everyone we encountered were charmed by our sparkling presence and sought our benevolent attention everywhere we went.

In between beers and dancing and explanations of our headgear, we caught most of the Michigan-Northwestern game via mobile updates, arriving home to the cottage just in time to catch the last five glorious minutes of a rout that was supposed to be a challenge. As we then watched the MSU-Rutgers game, the Wolverines among us tried hard, in the interest of friendship, not to giggle and fist bump with every Spartan miscue or Scarlet Knights' success. Although a little part of me wanted MSU to lose a humiliating game to a B1G cellar dweller, it ended as it needed to: with their undefeated status intact but smudged yet again by lackluster play and difficulty with a team they should have devoured. For the realization of Michigan's dreams to be even sweeter, they needed the Spartans to enter the Big House tomorrow 6-0, still convinced of their superiority and dripping with excuses for being the luckiest undefeated team in the country.

I know Jim Harbaugh doesn't believe in jinxes so I'm not going to worry about them either. Well, except for the navy blue polish on my toes that will be there until they lose. I'll just say it. I have a really good feeling about Saturday. A this-is-destiny feeling about it. I'm sure MSU will play the best game of their season against us. Mark Dantonio will show some things he's been saving just for October 17. You know there's going to be a fake punt or other trick in there somewhere.

I'm equally certain that Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines have some surprises up their sleeves, too. After watching nearly every Michigan game and every Spartan game this season, I can't come to any other conclusion: Michigan, right now, is the better overall team and has the ability to emerge from this match victorious. 

I don't have any hard science backing me and you can still find "experts" claiming that MSU remains one of the best teams in the country and a contender for the national playoff. I don't know which MSU they've been watching, but the one I've seen isn't the team it was last year. Whether they're missing Narduzzi, struggling with injuries, or just aren't aligned, they aren't playing like they're hungry to remain in the Top 10. Their wins at times seem more like SOLs (Short Of a Loss) than convincing Ws. On the other hand, I think Michigan is looking sharper every week. The offense is steadily improving and Rudock is slowly finding his confidence as a leader. Special teams are making big contributions. And the defense, well, if Connor Cook isn't looking at our D line-up with more than a little trepidation, he's nuts. I fully expect Mr. Cook to be pulling little green and black rubber bits from his ears, nose, and teeth before the end of the game.


As a newly experienced crown-wearer, I can tell you, it feels good. It feels right. The attention is addictive and the feelings of confidence and invincibility are heady. I think it can also be a burden. I hear it's lonely at the top. You're a target for usurpers. The weight of expectations and the heavy eyes of critics watch your every move. It takes a toll. 

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." Shakespeare gives these words to Henry IV, who cannot rest or find the nightly peace that even his most lowly subjects enjoy. Ohio State wears a national crown. MSU has worn a conference crown. Both have lorded over the Wolverines for years, relegating our once proud program to the yeoman's rank or what even began to feel like serfdom at times. 

From all I can tell now, the crowns are weighing heavy in East Lansing and Columbus these days. It's hard to stay on top and do it honorably. It's difficult not to swoon in the oxygen-starved heights at the top of the polls. You believe that you've arrived and it feels so good and no one is going to take it away from you. You know that your hated rival has been reduced to a joke and that you will own them for years to come. No one can question your right to be at the top. No one can disrespect the crown and the success it represents. 

Well, the crown is bearing down hard and the Spartans are going to feel the weight of it this Saturday. I don't know if we'll win or not. I could be way out of line in thinking we have this in the bag. What I do know is MSU is going to look the usurper in the eye and feel the heat of a Michigan revolution. As Mark Dantonio said in 2007, as the crown became heavy for Michigan, "Let's just remember, pride comes before the fall...it’s not over and it’ll never be over here. It’s just starting...Their time will come."

And ol' Miralax Mark was right. Our time did come and we served it in Hell, thank you. And we learned a lot about ourselves along the way. We're better fans and a better team for it now. I could easily toss Dantonio's words back to him regarding his team today. I feel it happening - a palpable shift in power and momentum between East Lansing and Ann Arbor. It's driven by a body of highly energized sub-atomic particles that I defy Stephen Hawking to explain: Jim Harbaugh.

I would advise the Spartans to enjoy the weight of their crown while they can. The Once and Future King is on the march and an army 110,000 strong will be behind him and his team tomorrow. It will be loud. It will be hostile. It just might be beautiful.

No matter what happens, the Wolverine head that wears this tiara hasn't rested this easily in quite some time! 

Now go, my Wolverines, and hasten to your posts. Eat and drink merrily! Be fierce in your support of our team, shouting lustily...

Go Blue! Beat State!

D-Licious Durkin Donuts and Other Week 5 Delights

It was another great week to be a Michigan Wolverine! As cheesy as it may sound, I'm really starting to believe that nobody has it better than us. That's not me just being a super fan. Just look at all the insanity that took place inside the Top 25 and you'll know what I mean. So many top teams looked weak against "lesser" opponents (Hello, OSU and MSU!) and I'm really starting to get a feeling that Team 136 could beat just about anyone out there when they're hitting on all cylinders. These guys are hungry and relentless, which goes a long way in overcoming some of their imperfections. I still see steady improvement every week and the players' capacity to learn from their coaches is evident. A few of my thoughts from Week Five:

High Pressure System Pushes Hurricane Joaquin Out to Sea

Hurricane Joaquin, originally expected to hit the U. S. East Coast over the past weekend, took an unexpected right turn and headed out into the Mid-Atlantic after encountering a strong high pressure system pushing offshore from the Great Lakes. Though Joaquin had the power to move football game kickoff times and change flight plans all over the Eastern seaboard, it was not able to overcome the meteorological anomaly driving southeast from Ann Arbor. High Pressure system "Harbaugh" very likely saved millions in property damage and hundreds of lives, while racking up a nice victory over the Maryland Terrapins. No thanks required, East Coast. Our coach is a documented first responder/hero. It's just what he does.

This game wasn't always pretty, but it worked out and with last week's win, gave the Wolverines' their first back-to-back shutouts since the 2000 season. The offense had some ups and downs, but they were supported from beginning to end by our beastly defense - and oh how good it feels to say those words! It illustrated yet again that this is not a team that quits or lets down in any way. In spite of a few miscues and mess-ups, it was fun to watch, especially when that defense was killing it. Tell me those guys aren't niggling at the minds of our foes to the north and south! Another tasty Durkin Donut and yes, those calories are lookin' good on the team!

The Michigan State Feelings Status Meter

This week's Spartan Feelings Meter sees some changes. As we all know, the #2 Spartans played and beat Purdue this week with the same level of shock and awe as they have their four other games, which is to say "not much." It was a strange week in college football for the entire Top 25 and for Michigan, it couldn't have been better. While the "mighty" struggled for wins or got knocked down, Michigan kept its slow, steady progression upward -- in the new AP poll, up to #18 while the Spartans dropped to #4 after winning their 5th game to remain undefeated.

I actually heard several rational Spartans admit "We're not a #2 team" after the game. It's because of the rational MSU fans that I've downgraded this week's Disrespect Feelings Score. After four weeks of "Meh." even their own fans are owning up to it now.

The attention being given to Michigan's defense and their slow climb up the rankings still has less rational Spartans groping for explanations about Purdue and other should-have-blown-them-out foes ('we have a history with Purdue', 'we play down to our opponents', etc). This leads me to raise the fear factor this week. It's clear. The Harbaugh is getting into their heads, right where we want him - pushing them near the edge of the Safe Zone.

This leaves us with a Feelings score of Aggravated+/Apprehensive+ with less than two weeks to go before the big meeting of minds between Harbaugh and Dantonio. If you include the anger and disrespect Spartans endured after being assigned Beth Mowins for ESPN's play-by-play, this trends toward Upset again. Note: It's not that I don't want to see more women in traditionally male broadcasting roles. I don't want announcers of any gender who confuse Michigan and Michigan State and who don't know all the players' names. Calling one school the other is a gut-punch to both and she does it all the time. (An equal opportunity critic, I'll also call out Brandstatter and Dierdorf for teaching us that long runs "inflate your rushing stats" after Chesson's 66 yd carry. I would never have thought of that, but am the better for knowing it.)

YES, I-275 Spartan Slappy

I espied this beauty the other day and made the MGoMan slow down and pull behind so I could get a snap. Isn't this a gorgeous testament to Spartan fandom? I was first awed by the firm grasp of primary and secondary colors. As to why he's calling out the media rather than Michigan fans themselves I don't know, but clearly this guy's more concerned about OUR ranking than his own. (By the way, do these look like DIY printable magnets from Staples?) As we drove by, I couldn't help but peer inside to see who would do this to their car. I didn't look too long. It was angry old guy wearing so much old school Spartan kelly green that I was nearly blinded "Yes, yes yes!" to your question, angry, made-your-own-magnets Spartan dude. And we'll catch you on your way down.

And so, I think that's it for now, my friends. I'm busy getting ready for our 24th Annual Girls Weekend in Up North Michigan. I wrote about our somewhat un-Girly weekend last year not long after I started this blog. I remember sitting in a corner, watching my friends watch football, analyzing the games, drinking beer, shouting at the refs, coaching from the couch, and other things you guys would not imagine we do on when we're away from you for four days and have the option not to choose sports/beer over pedicures/Cosmos. I can't wait to see what this coming weekend brings. I'm sure it'll be more football, more beer and wine (a Short's visit is planned and the Harbor Springs Beer Festival), and yeah, maybe some shopping and a little girl talk, too. We still do that, too! I'm sure you'll hear about it next week.

Until then, have a great Wolverine weekend and Go Blue! Beat Northwestern!

Musings on a Maize and Blue Autumn Weekend

Ye of Little Faith, Believe!

Before driving to Ann Arbor yesterday morning, I did a quick check of Twitter and ran through a few MGoBlog posts, trying to gauge feelings for the upcoming BYU game, our first against a ranked opponent under Coach Harbaugh. 

I found a mixed bag of predictions. Some thought Michigan would beat the spread with no problem. Others thought they might eke out a 1 point victory. And sadly, but understandably, many still gave the edge to BYU. Based on BYU's results season-to-date, with wins over Nebraska and Boise State, followed by a painfully close loss to UCLA, people seemed confident that BYU was well-tested and deserving of their Top 25 ranking. That Michigan had lost a close one to a decent* Utah team and had good, but somewhat ugly wins over Oregon State and UNLV wasn't enough for many fans to follow their hearts over their heads.
* We now know that excellent is a better description.

I was almost one of the latter. It's hard to forget how things would have gone down the last few seasons in the same situation. We would have every reason to expect the worst. In this first year of Harbaugh, we've probably all practiced the phrase "This year might be a little rough, but just wait..."  

This year, though, even when my mind says "winning is not likely," I'm physically and mentally unable to say "We stand no chance." Those four words that were my mantra last year feel foreign on my tongue today. 

It's because I now have belief and I have it in spades. I can see and feel and hear Harbaugh's Michigan. Hourly. Daily. Weekly. 

There are Michigan voices in the air, new affirmations at every turn, and yes, things are starting to happen. I didn't expect it so soon, but there it is. I refuse to doubt this team under almost any circumstances for the simple reason that they make me feel that nothing is impossible. How freeing is it to think that for a change! I never feared BYU because I had a gut feeling something great was coming and this team would step up, prove their worth, and open some eyes. And they did. While some top teams have been struggling to demonstrate real dominance and others have been exposed as frauds altogether, Michigan continues to improve at a steady rate. This coaching staff is the real deal. They've weeded out the weak and unwilling and they're slowly and methodically recarving the block M in the list of college football worthies. It feels pretty awesome, doesn't it?

So, believe, people, BELIEVE. Be willing to be humble if things go awry (and they still will), but go about your day believing that anything is possible for the Wolverines under this leadership. This season is like reading a mystery, one chapter a week and the plot is getting thicker with every page. I don't know who's guilty at the end, but I think Jim Harbaugh did it in the Big House with a Team.

I'll Have a Weiner on a Whole Grain Batard

Fools are among us. Jon "Stugotz" Weiner, of ESPN Radio (on the Dan La Batard Show) probably just figured out that Jim Harbaugh wasn't still in play for Oakland, when he announced this week:

"I pride myself on seeing things before others see it, and I'm telling you right now, he is going to break Michigan's heart," Stugotz said. "I'm telling you, Chuck Pagano is out at Indianapolis. There is no way Jim Harbaugh is going to pass up the chance to, a.) get back in the NFL, and b.) coach Andrew Luck in the NFL...Jim Harbaugh, next season, will be the Colts' head coach." [from freep.com article by Steve Schrader]

I know this is just another clueless ESPN crapweasel looking for attention, because no one on the outside of the Jim Harbaugh orbit can claim to comprehend what drives Jim Harbaugh. That someone would take on a hard luck challenge like Michigan and ask for a less than top salary in doing so simply does not compute with the NFL-worshipping hacks at Egotistical Self-Promotion News.

Weiner, you're aptly named and will be exposed soon enough. Harbaugh isn't going anywhere. He and his brother have divided the world and Jim's on a different warpath. He's back in the place he loves most doing what he loves most to restore the team he loves most. His grandkids will be assistant coaches at Michigan before he's finally carted off the sideline in a maize and blue golf cart for the last time in front of a loving, cheering crowd. 

At least Weiner is self aware.

The Michigan State Feelings Status Meter

And because I am endlessly amused at the Spartan capacity for a) not enjoying success, b) needing Dave Brandon levels of validation, and c) using logic that would evade Einstein in defending the value of their current undefeated status, I bring you the Spartan Feelings Meter. I'll try to update this regularly until my mission is complete and Mark Dantonio is so puckered up he's forced to drink his weight in Miralax to dislodge the solid form of his hatred for Michigan and Jim Harbaugh (and everyone else in the world who doesn't fall all over MSU.)

As you can see, this week's trouncing of Oregon (who Sparty barely beat) by Utah (who barely beat Michigan who soundly beat BYU who almost beat UCLA who just kicked Arizona) and the resultant questioning of the value of their signature win has registered Sparty as Upset/Apprehensive. Still firmly in the Safe Zone, but trending upward. 

And who can blame them? Their "quality" opponent, Oregon, has been booted from the Top 25, leaving them a 3 point win over someone Utah beat 62-20 and less than dominant wins over the MAC and Air Force. Michigan's now played two teams in the current Top 25, losing it close to Utah (while outgaining them) and giving BYU what may now be called a Durkin Donut ...no points. 

I don't know what will happen on October 17, but it's going to be more of a game than anyone will give Michigan credit for. 

Quoteworthy Harbaugh

And finally, here are some of my favorite quotes from the Coach this week. Sometimes flaky. Often clever. Always ours. 

On Turnovers (from the Monday night radio show)
"It's kind of like the olive jar. We haven't gotten a lot of turnovers and it's like opening up a new jar of olives. You open it up, turn it over and you can't get one olive to come out. People know that. They're packed in there so tight, you can't get one to come out. But if you can just get one to come out, the rest come plopping out. That's what we're hoping for with these turnovers. We've gotten one, we've gotten two and now hopefully they come out in droves."

On the crowd and atmosphere at the Big House during the BYU game

"I had a couple occasions to look up and go 'this is good'... This is really good for us and good for football. It looked good. Attitude of gratitude about that and the way our team plays and the way they prepare.”

We agree, Jim. We agree. 

Go Blue! Beat Maryland!

Stay Me with Flagons

Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples, for I am sick of love.
(Song of Solomon 2:5)

I know, Biblical quotes about love aren't the standard way to preface a post about Michigan football. However, after watching the home debut of Jim Harbaugh at the Oregon State game last Saturday, love was all I was feeling. This quotation about it, "Lit nerd" that I am, was the one that kept popping into my thoughts that day. I'm not trying to be sacrilegious at all. In fact, the verse speaks of love-sickness and that's what we used to feel in Ann Arbor for the coach we wanted but didn't have. Now that he's here and has his first "W" etched in the history books, I don't know about you, but I'm pining no longer. I'm just sick with love for our coach.

Of course, this is just platonic fan love. None of that other stuff you'll find in the Song of Solomon, which would be a little creepy starring Jim Harbaugh. I'm already envisioning the DirecTV ad: "Hi, I'm Jim Harbaugh. And this is You're Teeth are Like a Flock of Shorn Ewes Jim Harbaugh." No, no, no!  I'm simply in love with what he's already done with this team and the way he's conducted himself on the field and off. The difference from last year is evident on so many levels, even though we've only seen the product in action twice.

Harbaugh, in about eight months, has given this team everything it begged for: followable leadership, mental toughness, physical strength, and discipline. It seems those who've stayed are 110% on board. So are we. "All In for Michigan" is no longer just a slogan on a T-shirt.  "All In" is a lock. You can see it in the locker room when team leaders are interviewed. You can see it on the field as they grind harder and finish plays. There's some swagger there now. No doubt these players felt pride in playing for Michigan even during the Dark Ages. Add to that pride a dose of real hope and the feeling that comes from a good performance and it's a new ballgame. I know it's early in the season and the future holds some daunting challenges, but the way these guys played Saturday reminded me of watching Michigan in the old (good) days. It was the power football I grew up with and I was as giddy as 12-year old me watching it unfold.

So back to our love story on the sidelines. I mean, could you just watch Jim Harbaugh coach the Wolverines all day long? I don't know if the home sideline has seen that level of laser-focus and energy since Bo stalked the coaching box. The coordinators do their jobs well but Harbaugh isn't blindly delegating control of the game. He misses nothing. He makes adjustments to the game plan (not his noose or his story, as Rich Rod and Hoke did more often than not.) And the way he vehemently argued calls with the officials with arms, legs, words, and clipboards flying? Pinch me. I've been waiting for someone to give a real damn down on that field for eternity. ESPN may call it a tantrum. I call it letting the B1G's stellar officiating crew [insert tongue in cheek] know that things have changed in Ann Arbor. He asserted himself as alpha like all the great coaches do and eventually it will lead to an edge. Bo did it. Uncle Urbz does it. It fires up the team, too. When your coach sticks his neck on the line for you, playing harder for him and for each other burns like a fire in the belly. 

Harbaugh reminds me of one of the best managers I ever had. He came to us from GE and in our office, they treated this man like a god. Most of the mid-level guys on his staff were a bit afraid of him, but I wasn't. I could see right away that he was a real leader. Like Jim, he was scary smart, quirky, dry-humored, and liked making people who deserved it feel a bit awkward. He begged me not to accept another internal offer and pitched hard for me to join his team. He said "Our job won't be easy, but I promise you, we're gonna have fun meeting the challenge." He also walked straight over to HR with the sticky note that listed the non-negotiable salary the guy down the hall offered me and came back a few minutes later offering me a 10% raise. I said, "yes" and he delivered on his promises. His role, in his words, was to remove obstacles to MY success. He had the honor of a Boy Scout in his dealings with others--playing fairly within the rules, but squeezing everything he could from those rules. I actually sobbed when he left a couple years later. I guess I had platonic fan love for him, too.

If you've ever been asked in a job interview "What characterized the best manager you've ever had?" I think of the GE guy and say "I would follow him without question or hesitation into battle." This is the the same thing I think the Michigan football team and the coaching staff would say of Jim Harbaugh. He's pulled together the factions and created an army of the willing (and increasingly able.) Their work will be hard, but they'll have fun meeting the challenge.

In light of all this goodness, I anticipate being sick with Harbaugh fan love for years to come. We have but to watch and enjoy as he spearheads our journey back into the light.

So join me in my happy state and...

Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love! 
Solomon 5:1

Go Blue!

Dancing in the Endzone: More Delicious Bacon

I've been notably silent since the Utah game. It kind of came and went without fanfare in my life. Here I am watching the Oregon State game, enjoying this second look at our improving team, and finally getting around to my keyboard.

The first problem was that we were driving deep into the northern realm of Michigan-free radio on Labor Day weekend. Not a high school fan? Not a Spartan? Not much of a chance then of hearing the Utah game in the car or at our TV-free cabin near Alpena. We listened to the first half in our car on a scratchy AM station with all the quality of Marconi's first transmissions in the early 1900s. The second half we enjoyed in a classic Up North Michigan bar with a couple TVs showing the game while old coots in John Deere and Remington caps did karaoke with remarkable range if not skill - crooning Conway Twitty and bobbin' to the Sugar Hill Gang. (You've gotta love Up North Michigan!) Between enjoying the show and the brief reconnection to my Twitterverse, I probably saw about half of that half. 

The second (and greater) problem in writing about the Utah game and Harbaugh's debut was all John U. Bacon's fault. He had to go and release Endzone on September 1 and proceed to ruin my sleep and sanity for nearly a week. I got my hard copy on "opening day" and had plans to go to his Rackham appearance before the realities of my impending trip north forced me to more practical tasks. He quickly added a second sale from my house, though. I wasn't through the door for two minutes when my boyfriend snatched the book from my hands and hit the couch, promising to be done in time for the weekend. As the Thursday drive to the communications abyss that is our cabin approached, I didn't see his bookmark on Endzone moving as quickly as it needed to. Enter my tablet, a quick download to my Kindle app, and voilà -- two people, two Endzones, no conflicts, love abides!

So yeah, this book consumed us both - a middle-aged pair of Michigan fanatics, who with no kids in tow, no neighbors around, nothing but fresh air, plenty of adult beverages, and boundless time, hopped into the sack and proceeded to, well, read Bacon simultaneously. (It didn't disappoint!)

Like all of Bacon's books, Endzone opened my eyes wider than I thought possible. As someone who spent most of 2014 hanging on every blog post, radio/TV broadcast, or tweet about the Michigan "situation", I thought I knew a lot. I now know that my grasp of things was little more than the skin and first layer of a very big, near-to-tear-inducing onion.

What I love about Endzone is that the book isn't a mere indictment of Dave Brandon. It would have been easy to lay out all his sins, focus all of the blame for everything wrong with Michigan football (or even Athletics) on him, and roast him in his own bitter juices. Bacon doesn't quite do that and proves his journalistic integrity by showing restraint and telling the whole story, including all the cast of characters and their contributions. Brandon is the primary antagonist, but he isn't alone. (Mary Sue Coleman, that's you, girlfriend.)

Endzone starts by establishing the historical baseline of past ADs and coaches by which all future pretenders to the positions would be measured. It's only after illustrating the Michigan Man's true origins in the actions and words of Baird, Yost, Crisler, Canham, and Schembechler, that Bacon (and the rest of the Michigan faithful) are able to legitimately measure Brandon and find him wanting. Really, desperately wanting.

The book is balanced and is careful to note the good things Brandon did as AD (in addition to his generally well-regarded stint as a Regent.) It illustrates his attention to the non-revenue sports and his admirable accessibility to all student-athletes, such as the book's interesting tale of punter Will Hagerup, who clearly saw sides of Dave Brandon most of us never knew.

Still, as someone who has experienced first hand the life-changing and stressful effects of new management, toxic organizational environments, and the destruction of quality, loyal, long-term employees, I came away from this read despising Dave Brandon even more. I will never feel the slightest pang of sympathy for him and his perceived losses. I hope never to see his face again associated with anything I love. 

He came so close to killing the soul of Michigan and its athletic tradition. He assumed a lot about what Michigan fans want to experience by consulting no one but his own greedy, narcissistic mind. The condescension bordering on contempt he showed for the average, not-able-to-donate fan was glaring. His treatment of non-athlete students was abysmal. If reading about the beginnings of the American Revolution spikes my patriotism, reading about the grassroots Michigan revolution of 2014 has completely reinforced my connection to this great university. I signed that Fire Brandon ePetition. My ancestors fought at Lexington and Concord, but that signature felt like a revolutionary step in my time. Cut off the head of the mad tyrant. Don't tread on Michigan.

What amazed me after consuming the book was how much more was happening that we didn't know. Endzone put rich, succulent flesh on the skeleton that was dangling in the Michigan Athletic Department closet during the Brandon years. I don't know how JUB kept all this detail quiet while waiting to publish. He's a stronger person than me. I would have burst into a thousand maize and blue bits months earlier. Here are some random thoughts that developed from reading it (with additional clarity provided by a recent re-peek at Bacon's classics Bo's Lasting Lessons, Three and Out, and Fourth and Long.) 

• Dave Brandon is a monumental piece of work. I'm appalled that Bo Schembechler died thinking Brandon a great man and shared one of his last dinners with him. This guy has so many issues on so many levels -- always striving to prove something. Is it feelings of inferiority from his days under Bo? A high school star relegated to the practice squad who spends the rest of his life trying show the world he was really superior to all of them (to all of us)? Was he getting even? I feel sorry for the employees of Toys 'R Us. They're about to stock some new "games" and work will surely not be the Barbie Dreamhouse for long.
• Lloyd Carr and the ridiculous influence of his personal preferences should not have been (or be) part of any discussion pertaining to the future of Michigan football or Michigan Athletics. If you love Lloyd, that's fine. I reserve my right to think he's not all that and a bag of chips.
• Rich Rodriguez, given the support that everyone gave Hoke, would have gotten Michigan to more than one B1G championship game by now. Everyone's treatment of him was shameful and unbecoming the University of Michigan.
• Brady Hoke should never have been given the opportunity to accept a job bigger than him. He's a good man who was offered his dream job and it ended in a nightmare. What he must have felt under Brandon's thumb! While Endzone shows the indecision and lack of real control that made his exit necessary, I do hope he finds a place he can thrive that doesn't require the high tensile strength and S.O.B. level of ferocity demanded of a coach in Ann Arbor.
• Mary Sue Coleman. She and her starry-eyed Brandon love helped foster these years of Horror. Thank God she retired when she did. It was the best thing she ever did for Michigan, at least related to athletics.
• Katherine White and Mark Bernstein will have my votes should they run again for Regent.  
• President Schlissel, Jim Hackett, the CSG, and the army of football insiders who worked on Harbaugh are heroes. It gives me a sense of calm knowing that they've done all they can for now to right the ship. The future is a mystery, but one I can be patient for, knowing that every day it's all getting better, tougher, stronger, and closer to what Michigan deserves and expects to be. 

Endzone is the perfect volume to conclude, for now, Bacon's documentation of the program we love. I recently recommended it to a friend and fellow Michigan alum who was unaware of Bacon's works. For any newbie to his football-related catalog, I'd start with Bo's Lasting Lessons, which is a light read in Bo's voice that lays the groundwork for understanding Michigan Football and linking its values to those that should be found in any organization or leader who expects respect and success. Follow that up, in order, with Three and Out (the Rich Rodriguez volume), Fourth and Long (the "state of college football" volume), and finally with Endzone. You'll start by learning how things should be and then follow the story as events unfold after Bo's death. You'll see how his lessons are rapidly lost in the myopic new organization. No need for a spoiler alert here. We know the story ends with hope and a Harbaugh at the helm, and therefore, with the final chapter comes a new beginning. We're left dancing in the Endzone.

We can only hope for a period of peace, winning, and prosperity that leave Bacon without a football-related muse until he's ready to pen something of pure joy, like "Urban Decay - the Downfall of the Buckeyes" or "Six and Counting: The Harbaugh Championship Years."

In the meantime, I plan to re-read these books regularly to remind myself how close we came to real peril and more so, to remember how to avoid similar loss of direction in my own life. There are lessons to be learned here that reach far beyond the game.

Hail to the Victors! Hail to the Conquering Heroes. Every single one of us.

Rip Van Wolverines - The Long Dark Sleep is Over

This is weird. I just woke up and feel like I've been having a Rip Van Winkle kind of Long Dark Sleep - I understand that it's 2015 and I've been deep in football dreams and nightmares for nearly nine years. The last thing I recall was Ohio State and Michigan being ranked #1 and #2 and about to challenge each other head-on for that top spot. Lloyd Carr had his team ready but Bo insisted on giving the Wolverines a special motivational speech. It was electric. I hadn't been so excited and confident for a game in a long time. And then, I don't know what happened, but my Michigan memory disappeared into a strange world where things happened in Ann Arbor that just don't occur in any reality I ever experienced at the university. I've heard from others that had a similar sleepy loss of time and place and memory. Maybe there was something in the air, like Dorothy in the poppy fields of Oz or contrails from aircraft whose owners, likely from East Lansing or Columbus, had nefarious plans for the Maize and Blue faithful. We'll never know. Bo's lifting up the team one minute. Jim Harbaugh's our coach the next. And there's the Dream Time in between.

I don't know what you remember from your dream sleep, but some key points from mine went something along these lines:

• Before that 2006 game, Bo Schembechler left this world. This couldn't have been real because he's immortal to us. He's just off somewhere, getting served Big Macs by Elvis, awaiting his triumphant return, the Once and Future Coach.
• Michigan adopted a spread offense and hired a guy named Rich Rodriguez who was from West Virginia and had no affiliation to the university at all. The greater Michigan family was divided and rancorous. To make it worse, the new guy tried to start new traditions. [Gasp] I know this to be impossible. Hire outside the extended Michigan family? Gimmicky spread offense? Dissent in the Michigan ranks. Not in a million years.
• Then President Mary Sue Coleman hired a new Athletic Director, Dave Brandon, a businessman hawker of pizza and coupon mailers whose primary qualifications for the job were being a slick marketing guru, a former Regent and a little known football player for Schembechler. After a slew of uncharacteristic losing seasons [cue the heavenly sounds of Josh Groban's "You Lift Me Up"] he made Rich Rod go away. 
• In no time, Brandon handed the coaching torch to a jovial unknown from SDSU, Brady Hoke. He looked like Fred Flintstone but he knew exactly what to say to seduce the Wolverine family. In dreams, you hear what you want to hear. He had a National Championship ring from the 1997 season of glory.  [Fade out Groban and fade into Pop Evil's infernal "In the Big House"] He understood Michigan was a place of "Tradition!" and didn't rock the boat. After going 11-2 his first season, I almost remember waking up. (This was a false memory - a dream within a dream, if you will.) And then things went a little hallucinogenic. Hoke apologized to MSU about some perceived slight involving a tent stake. Beyonce spoke to us at a half-time show. And Tom Harmon's sacred number was not only being worn, but getting ground into the turf behind the line of scrimmage with remarkable regularity. Tickets were being given away for buying a Coke or using a coupon at Meijer. Long-time attendance records were in danger of falling. The AD was telling fans to find another team via angry late night emails. The Alumni Association offered a membership Groupon.

STOP. I can't even recall this psychedelic break from reality without high anxiety. If it had really happened someone would have stepped in and put an end to it. Right?

Well, it's the ultimate relief to know that all of it was just a weird, horrific nightmare. I'm awake now and aware (fully!) for the first time since I blacked out of Michigan Football on November 17, 2006.

Sure, I'm sad to realize that Bo really is gone. I'm just glad I got to talk to him over beers a couple years before that day. I see Rich Rod winning at Arizona, Dave Brandon leading Santa's Elves at Toys 'R Us, and Brady Hoke enlightening listeners about high energy execution on Sirius radio -- as if nothing bad ever happened here at all.

And this Thursday, when Jim Harbaugh marches onto the field in Utah for his first game at the helm of the Wolverines, a new dream begins for all of us. It'll be a waking dream and will certainly have its share of twists and turns. Ecstatic highs and of course, some rough patches that may occasionally make us nervous about the return of the Long Dark Sleep. We all suffer a Michigan football fan's version of PTSD. But it won't come. 

Part of the Long Dark Sleep was preparing us for this moment and preparing our leader for his time. In this new dream, Bo isn't really gone. He's living on in Jim Harbaugh's head 24/7/365 - a testament to the lessons and wisdom imparted by the old legend to his long-in-coming rightful heir.There will be no excuses, no passing the buck, and above all, no apologies to anyone, especially our rivals in East Lansing and Columbus. Accountability. Execution. Dedication. Work. These words will be defined and upheld in ways none of the coaches of the Long Dark Sleep could realize here. 

So dream on, dear Wolverines, and enjoy the show.  Scene One, Act One on Thursday should be dramatic. And I think Team 136 can pull this one off. I can't begin to bet against Harbaugh in his opener. He may be coaching some of the same men who contributed to years of "Ls", but there's no way on Earth they're the same players.

Let the games begin. GO BLUE! 

The RED Women's Movement - A Cure for Writers Block

It's been awhile since I've been back here, tapping out my thoughts about football and other sports that catch my attention in phrases exceeding 140 characters. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, really. It's that the things I felt like saying were already being said by a few hundred other people with a lot more juice than me on the internet. What drove me to write last fall was anger and frustration with the state of Michigan football, Brady Hoke, and especially Dave Brandon. If most successful writers are driven by emotion, angst, and a darkness of spirit, I had that in spades last year. Didn't we all?

Then Jim Harbaugh came along and ruined all that by making me happy and hopeful. By entertaining me to a point where I can barely recall the years of The Horror. But really, how many people need to document his every word and every move? What more could I say about this crazy, intense, beautiful coach and the things he's doing with his new program than others were already saying? So I took a summer hiatus from MGoGirl and just fiddled around on Twitter and MGoBlog when I felt the need to say something. 

With football season fast approaching, I've been contemplating how to ease myself back into my little literary endeavor. Thanks to my BFF and former MGoRoommate Lynn, who somehow manages to read the internet completely at least once a day, I was given the nudge I needed -- a tidbit of insanity she found on Salon.com and shared with me on Facebook.

It's called the RED Women's Movement and I think most of you will find it a slap in the face to football-loving ladies everywhere. Check it out on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers website. Go ahead. Take a couple minutes. It won't take you long to either love the idea -- or if you're like me, feel cheapened, belittled, and dismissed. Dismissed from the man cave where I, too, enjoy calling the next play, second-guessing referees, asking my man for another beer, and cussing like a sailor or throwing objects when things don't go my team's way.

The Buccaneers bill this as "a women's movement that will re-invent the female fan experience." It's supposedly being led by the women of the Tampa Bay area to help start an "exciting new era" for female fans in their region. It's described as "groundbreaking," but I'd characterize it as condescending bullshit and football gods forbid this movement ever reaches the Mason-Dixon line in its attempt to create a special community of female football followers.

So, ladies, this is what RED will do for you:

• Year round education on understanding football (OK, if done in a non-condescending way, this is potentially acceptable.)
• Insider's talks with the Bucs' GM and visits from Bucs' legends, whatever that means. (Vinnie Testaverde? Baby! Count me in. Not.)
• Game day style tips (somewhere Tim Gunn is reaching for smelling salts)
• Sessions on how to incorporate Bucs love into tailgating and home entertainment ideas
• Practical advice on expressing Bucs love through "fashion-forward" team apparel and creative culinary efforts.

It's bad enough that the photo in the article shows three hot, young blonde babes in Bucs' gear to represent the female fan. I barely noticed them, though. The picture was replaced in my mind's eye with one from the Mad Men era. In that photo, mommy is enjoying game day in the kitchen wearing a dress with a Peter Pan collar and smart, matching pumps. And she's not yelling "J---F---C---! Homer refs! I hope Jim Delany is happy with that call. Takin' care of Uncle Urbz! Asshats." She's just happy to be all matchy-matchy and deliver cold beer and thoughtfully prepared snacks to the guys in the room.

The stunning stupidity of this program is almost laugh-worthy. Seriously, the first thing I did when Lynn shared the  article with me was to check for Onion.com as the source. I understand that not all women know as much about football as many of us do. There's nothing wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with a program to teach women more about football. That indeed could improve the game day experience for many women who don't currently enjoy a weekend marathon of college and pro football with their menfolk like I do. (There are even times when my beau Dave wants to turn it off and I'm "no, we need to watch the end of this game.")

I just fail to see what fashion-forward gameday apparel and cooking tips have to do with the Bucs' stated aim of changing the way women enjoy football. It's condescending and dismissive. It doesn't pull women into the same fan experience men have. It considers them fangirl Barbie dolls who want to know "What's a play clock?" (yes, click the link and witness) while contemplating whether their blouse matches the napkins the men will use at the tailgate which will be serving Buccaneer Bruschetta with I-Can-Define-First-Down Filets.

I hope the women of Tampa (who I suspect had nothing to do with this clearly non-grassroots movement) give this program (and the men who started it) what it deserves -- a) a forced run through a gauntlet of female fans swinging wooden spoons and jabbing with cocktail forks and shrimp deveining knives and/or b) a surprise halftime bombing of Raymond James Stadium with hundreds of thousands of tampons and other feminine delights. 

Would that help the Bucs' management pull their heads out of their collective 1957 ass? Probably not. When you're that out of touch with 2015, I don't see much enlightenment happening.

All I know is that in reading about RED, I appreciate being a Michigan fan and a Michigan woman more than ever! We get the Michigan Women's Football Academy with real coaches and game play. Tampa Bay women get Project Top Chef on the Runway. Who has it better than us?

Go Blue! I'm back. And my MGoLadies can laugh more about RED here.