Hate Week Illustrated: The Spartan Feelings Meter Returns

I stopped using this after The Horror last year.  It's time to bring it back.

I hope I don't have to retire it again later today. I tell you, football PTSD is a real thing. If it wasn't a noon game, I'd surely explode in anticipation. I know what we SHOULD do in this game. I know what the outcome SHOULD be. Forgive me if I harbor a few reservations. Completely irrational and unwarranted reservations. I just need to get this one done and done with surgical precision. I'll be on the road to recovery then.

I expect something on the order of 45-7 or maybe 52-10. Basically, big score (M) to little/no score (MSU).  I think we'll see heroics from Peppers, Lewis, Stribling, Higdon, and many more. I also expect to see the Sparty QB (Connor Lewerke or Messiah O'Connor or whatsisname) on the ground wearing a maize and blue bulldozer with a #3 on it at least a couple times before it's over. I also expect that the Sparty thugs will be up to their usual hijinx, targeting Speight, trying to end Peppers' career, and Sparty-things like that. 

We'll see how all that works out. Karma and the Football gods must be on our side. I spoke of bloodlust after Rutgers, but I'm finding that I was just having fun that weekend. This. This is bloodlust and I want Dad to rain hellfire on the smug Spartans and their constipated coach. 

#BurnIt #FireDantonio   Make that trend by about 4pm today and I'll be a happy girl.

#GOBLUE #BEATSPARTY

Hate Week Illustrated: Dantonio Preps for the Wolverines

I don't believe in jinxes so I'm going to enjoy Hate Week this year with #EUTM. Yes, I know full well that strange things can happen (like that science fiction show in Happy Valley last week where a James Franklin PSU team stunned the #2 Buckeyes) or say, weird things happening in a kicking game with no time on the clock and the enemy running it back for a score even though the game was essentially over. I have some vague, tormented dreams that I lived through something like that.

But I don't think bad things will happen this year. MSU is not going to win this game. They're going to feel the collected wrath of every Michigan player who lived through The Horror Years and Mark Dantonio is facing a Harbaugh who does not take whiny, snarky chatter against him or his program well. Amend that, he takes it quite well, but his memory is infallible. Remember what he did to Rutgers as a lesson in chatter and whining about farming The Garden? Let's just say Dantonio is going to pay for years of butt-clenched, angry old man sniping. "Pride comes before the fall." "Where's the threat?" "The only response I have is maybe some day the little brother grows up." 

No, there's no way Harbaugh is going to go lightly on Mark. Or if he does, it will be with a dose of GoLytely, an excellent solution for what's about to happen to the old grumpy cat.

Because the only thing Dantonio needs to prep for is a thorough, eyes-wide-open colonoscopy on Saturday. And I. Can't. Wait.

More to come. I am in no way finished enjoying this week.

Go Blue! Beat Sparty!

Recovering from a Day of Bloodlust

Blood is a mysterious thing.

It's a life-giving river flowing through us from the arterial tributaries of generations of men and women we never knew, but whose DNA stretches still within us. I'm fascinated endlessly by thinking of the parts of my being for which I can thank some Danish Viking or Saxon warlord that fought into my gene pool over a 1000 years ago. 

I see it in my absolute love of winter and cold. My ability to wear the scratchiest wool. Even in my appreciation for sharp, well-balanced, utilitarian knives that can get just about any job done.

Something happened yesterday, though, that surprised even me -- the Viking Warrior Princess that my friends have called me. Michigan beat Rutgers into a bloody pulp and rather than feel by the second quarter that we needed to stop the madness, I felt a berserker bloodlust rise in me that was unexpected and exhilarating. I'd hardly given Rutgers football a spare thought in my entire life and yet, there I was late in the game getting angry that they got a first down. Horrified that we almost allowed them that one called-back score. 

I was a cold, heartless Michigan fanbeast who wanted to see how far we could take it. I've been going to Michigan games since the early '70s and have seen lots of blowouts that put me to sleep. This one had me begging. One more TD please. Go for two. Get them back to negative yardage. More shots of their coach staring in abject horror. Volume up on their band playing our victorious march. Let every NJ Wolverine play every position and run it up to 100 - you have three minutes left!

Then it came to an end. 78-0. And then there was baseball that's not the Tigers and some sad West Coast games to turn to. Ugh. The mental let down was real. Not unlike, I imagine, how it felt to storm a beach screaming into your enemies' homes, stealing all they hold dear, then having a moment to process your mad success and your power and your domination and wondering, "So, what do I have to match that feeling today?"

I know that much of this comes from watching Rutgers and coach Chris Ash using a soft little twig to jab with child-like glee at Coach Harbaugh and the Wolverines over the past several months. Their taunting words must be haunting today: "this is our national championship" and "we would choose Chris Ash over Harbaugh any day." And the actions that may haunt Rutgers for years: bringing a reported 200 recruits to watch their "national championship" - then not sending them home before the end of the 1st quarter. The patience with which Harbaugh took this yearlong buzzing was perfect. His design to pay them for it had to be expected. Ash could not be that stupid, right? Harbaugh taught Rutgers a valuable life lesson last night and he was quite merciful in the doing. He stormed their garden, spilled some blood on their grounds, stole some of their loot (hopefully some 4*/5*), and left them alive to report their story of horror to those who would replace them in the fray another day. He was a better man than I would have been, but now that my blood is cooled, I can admit the wisdom in that. 

What I can't deny is that the bloodlust is alive in me now and I don't know if I can quell it going forward. The taste was as glorious as a half-price Ruth's Chris steak. The rush was pure catharthis. To feel the same way against the Spartans... the Buckeyes... jeez, my heart would explode. It's needed that feeling for so very long.  Until those battles happen, though, I'm going to make a valiant effort to temper myself. Each game as it comes. Trust in our leadership. Believe in our team. There is nothing they can't achieve this year. Even the Vikings knew when to fight and when to farm the garden. 

And now, off to ready myself for the greatest antidote for bloodlust. Indifference and the Lions.

#GoBlue from my bloody red Viking heart! Skål!

For all the Great American Patriots (not the Tom Brady kind)

I just got back to my social media after a 12 hour day in football heaven on Saturday. It was a beautiful thing being amongst kindred souls at the Big House, watching Michigan destroy Penn State, and having Wisconsin and Duke put some tasty icing on what was a deliciously "cake" day in Ann Arbor. It was a day to forget about all the crap going on in the world and just have fun. (And isn't it nice to have honest-to-God fun in the Big House again?)

So today as I've been trying (and failing) to find joy in watching the Lions and Tigers, I'm reading through my Twitter feed and Facebook posts for the past 24 hours, and in no time, have been brought back to the grim reality that is the state of our nation. What has me going this time isn't Hillary or Trump (directly, anyway). It's the sadly not-so-surprising number of self-proclaimed real, righteous American "patriots" who are complaining about Jim Harbaugh and Mark Dantonio for supporting their players' right to peaceful protest during the National Anthem on Saturday. 

Now, I haven't written in months here. Life has been busy and in the free time I'd normally spend writing, I've been in the thick of co-founding a non-profit and trying to get that off the ground. When I have something to say, though, that remotely touches on the sports and country I love, I guarantee I'll be back out here to say it. And today, this #RespectTheFlag thing has driven me to the keyboard.

First of all, I want to say I have the utmost respect (with a "c") for both Harbaugh and Dantonio in this situation. Yes, I still feast on Spartan disrespekt and I reveled in their demise yesterday. In this one single instance, however, I'll give Dantonio due credit. Both he and Harbaugh GET IT. They understand the vast difference between a flag and a song and a country. They understand what this country is supposed to be about and they let their players be real citizens of this country yesterday. There is very little more American than what they allowed and what their players did and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to examine their history a little more closely. That is unless you really think the American colonists were wrong for their rampant disrespect of the lawful government in England and their undoubted leader, King George III. Or that earlier Americans were un-American when they fought the status quo for voting rights, civil rights, women's rights, and even your right to legally open a beer and drink it at your tailgate. Because if you think Harbaugh and Dantonio were wrong and the players in protest were wrong, that's kind of where your logic is leading. 

The flag is just a symbol made in nylon or polyester. The anthem is just a moving song that most of us can't sing properly. The United States is so much more than either of those things. To be an American, well, it's something that's inside all of us, though none of us experience it in exactly the same manner. The problem is, many people are starting to question the patriotism of those whose American experience and patriotic behavior isn't 100% locked in goose step with their own. There can only be one "patriot" in this country and it feels to me like that person is a white, gun-toting, Republican, Christian extremist who "respects" the flag and the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution, but completely disrespects true Christian and American ideals in about every other way possible. (And before I get nailed for this, let me announce that I'm a white, Independent, imperfect Christian who wouldn't mind owning a firearm or a fur coat.)

Well, wake up "patriots". One of the most fundamental rights we have as Americans in "the land of the free and the home of the brave" is the right to free speech and peaceful assembly. We have the right to question our government, to call foul on the things it does or doesn't do. We have the right, through our political and legal system, to evolve our country and make it better for every American, not just for those who feel their own way is the only way or for those who can afford to dictate what they want. Rights apply to all citizens, not just the ones you like or agree with.

There is no law telling us we have to like or support what everyone else says or does. I don't like neo-Nazis, but I think they have a right to assemble and speak because I have a right not to listen to them. I don't like some politicians, but I think they have a right to their bat-shit crazy platform because I have a right to believe in someone else's. And where is the law regulating a person's posture in front of the flag and requiring a hearty singing of the anthem? I can't find any such thing. 

I have more than a couple questions for real patriots. Why aren't you protesting the American living in my town who flies the flags of at least three foreign countries on his porch? Why aren't you protesting the guys wearing hats, guzzling beer and cat-calling the hot singer while the anthem is playing at a sporting event? Why were you mad when people joked disrespectfully about one president (W) but you've called his successor, his successor's wife, and even his successor's daughters the worst slurs you can call a human being? Why aren't your Christian values incensed by all the unfair judgment of everyone going on in this country today? I thought judgment was God's responsibility. Hmmm? Buehler?

Maybe we all need to practice less ignorance and do a bit more ignoring (of those things we don't agree with.) Kind of "live and let live."

There's a picture that sums up the kind of nation where people are segregated by those who are superior and those who are inferior. A nation where you walk in lockstep with your neighbors and your government or you pay the consequences. A nation where you have to salute the right flag and salute it correctly and you have to sing the national song and be the citizen your government demands you to be, even if it means hurting those who aren't like you just to save your own ass. It kind of looks like this:

I thank Jim Harbaugh and Mark Dantonio for their understanding of American freedom and their (and their players') bravery in standing up for it. This country would be in a lot better shape if everyone did.

No Go Blue today. Just blue.

Exposed in the End, the Wolverines Will Emerge Hungrier

It’s been a few days and I can finally let myself think calmly about last weekend in the context of the whole season.  I went dark after the MSU game. It was a terrible thing for me. Within moments, I took my Facebook profile photo down and replaced my cheery Michigan cover photo with a bleak, soulless black and white photo I took years ago of a crow in a dead tree in the Utah desert. The last minute fluke play sucked away my will to be among people online or in-person for a good two days. It felt like being run over by a truck for about a week and truth be told, I'm not over it yet. I'm just packaging up my anger and saving it for next year. It should have a nice sharpness to it by then.

When last Saturday happened, the feeling was certainly depressing, but it left me in a much different state of mind. This may be because our larger dreams died right there on the field. Excepting a bowl game, the season was over and it didn’t matter anymore what MSU or another team did. There was no fluke play to fume over. The refs were bad, but a few missed calls were not the reason we lost. OSU was ready...and better. Michigan wasn’t. The evisceration of our team began early and was painfully deliberate. On another blog I read a comment with a metaphor I'd like to extend. This guy called the OSU game “a colonoscopy without the benefit of anesthesia.” I’d say that’s an apt description. A feeling of being uncomfortably, mortifyingly exposed. We, as fans, have been going through the prep all season, drinking the Gatorade, starving for THE GAME and the sustenance we’d enjoy once it was over. In its sure-to-be glorious aftermath, we were ready for a feast on Buckeye nut-encrusted vitamin-rich steak after dispatching a crumbling OSU to loss #2. Then we got rolled into the procedure room, and the anesthesiologist said “Your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia, but you can listen to some music.” And they played Hang on Sloopy on a loop as the gastroenterologist arrived, tapped us on the bum and said “You're going to feel a little pressure” with an evil grin.  And we looked around to see Urban Meyer. 

Now, the weird thing is, I can envision Urban Meyer enjoying something like that. I’m not sure why he had to give one to Jim Harbaugh, because Mark Dantonio looks like he’s in far greater need of a checkup down there. I guess it’s all the undigested red meat Jim keeps promoting? In the end (no pun intended), we learned that our Butt (Jake, of course) and the rest of the team and staff will be better for that embarrassing exposure in the future. I expect that they’re already studying up on their football gastroenterology and will be taking care of Dantonio and Meyer next year.

I’m still somewhat stunned at the outcome of the game, but I’m looking at it as a moment on a timeline that’s really just begun. When I look back on what we were all witnessing last year at this time, it's almost inconceivable where we stand today. One year ago today, Jim Hackett fired Brady Hoke. Dave Brandon was already gone. We were glued to our favorite Michigan sports news outlets, half in fear, half in euphoria waiting to see the mysterious words for which we all knew the reference: It’s happening. We heard the NFL media say “He’ll never leave.” We heard Michigan insiders say “It’s his destiny.” Then one day at the end of December, all the pain and humiliation of being a Michigan fan was relieved with one simple announcement. Jim Harbaugh was happening.

After nearly an entire year of hard work, relentless effort, creative recruiting, and dozens of quirky public photo opps, Harbaugh is a bowl game away from his first complete season on the Michigan sidelines as head coach. There were ups and downs along the way. A loss to Utah that played a few weeks later may have been a nice win. A loss to Michigan State on a weird game-ending play that was as much Spartan luck as it was Spartan skill -- and of course, the brutal field dressing performed by the Buckeyes last weekend. In between those moments, we saw a lot of good, bad, crazy, maddening, inspiring, hold-your-breath football. Moments of Hokiness. Moments of mad genius. We saw Harbaugh and his staff make a quality quarterback of Jake Rudock from Iowa’s scraps (Thank you, Hawkeyes!) and watched as he broke records and passed his coach and Tom Brady on some pretty big QB stat lists. The defense, for most of the season, was ranked among the top five in the nation in all the defensive categories. Guys like Peppers, Chesson, Smith, Darboh, Butt, and so many more, stepped up and played with grit and pride. Football looked like fun again and they gave us 9-3 after a disheartening 5-7 bowl-free season in 2014.

They didn’t win the big games we wanted so badly, but they showed us what the future looks like: Bright. Intense. Fun. Although I got pulled into the what-ifs that had Michigan going to the B1G championship game and the twisted scenarios leading to the CFP, it was wrong of me to hang my hopes on that. It was very wishful thinking; me and my belief that the universe was spinning this into Bo’s 1969 team redux. A team destined. That wasn’t really fair. It could have happened, but was never a very likely thing. Not something we mused about at the Spring Game in April or heading into the first games of the season. 7-5. 8-4. That sounded like a good start coming from such a low point. This regular season’s 9-3 (given who 2 of the 3 were) was not successful by the measures we want to use but it also didn’t feel like a failure. These coaches got all that performance out of much the same team that Hoke fielded in 2014. Many of those newly well-coached Hoke kids will be back and we’ve already seen evidence that big time recruits are interested in the experience Harbaugh is selling. He knows how to put the pieces together and I believe we’re in for some great things very soon.

After waiting for what seemed like ages for September and the Utah game to arrive, we’re somehow in December and staring at the down time. They’ll have one more game somewhere warm. We’ll wait to see how the fight for recruits shakes out on February’s National Signing Day. Then a little more snow shoveling before we get to the Spring Game in 2016. It’ll be September again before we know it because time flies when you’re having fun. And it IS fun again!

I can’t wait to see how we improve next season. How veterans become stronger and smarter in their positions; how the incoming freshmen make their first statements on the field as Wolverines. Jimmy is probably already working on that, turning the results of that painful game-day colonoscopy into something good. Lessons. Motivation. Competition. Teamwork.  

Let’s hope, like all negative “screenings”, our next uncomfortable examination from Dr. Meyer isn’t due for at least another 10 years (or more)!

Go Blue!

The Game: A Battle Between The Team and the I's and Me's of OSU

Yes, it's been awhile. Three weeks to be precise. My last post, written before the Rutgers game, was a silly piece fueled by an respiratory virus, strong coffee, and maple-glazed donuts, sponsored, in large part, by Mucinex. All that time and a bottle of Flonase later, a lot has happened. It’s all been pretty good if you consider the Wolverine’s successes, which weren’t always pretty, but always ended well. The only bad part was that one of the few times in my life I’ve actually cheered for the Buckeyes, they added “didn’t come to play football” to the list of other things they don’t do, such as “play school” or respect their coaches. It's okay, though. We don't respect their coaches, either. Watching OSU implode last week after losing just one of their last 24 games was compensation enough for me. Amazingly, even after MSU's win, there's still a shred of hope for an interesting post-season for Michigan. A top bowl game? A B1G championship? The CFP? It's all still on the table, however crazy it seems, until this evening.

Today is the pivotal day where our destiny becomes clearer and unfortunately, it's not entirely ours to determine. We need to win. Sparty needs to lose. Simple as that. I've heard so many of their fans talk about their undeniable lock on a CFP playoff berth that I wonder if MSU's team isn't looking too far ahead, as well. One can only hope. They forget how close they flirted with disaster at the end of most their games. Yes, they should beat Penn State. Like they were supposed to beat Nebraska, too. Anything could happen. I'm hoping this is the day their Last Minute Luck (translated by Spartans as "Skill") runs out.

The Wolverines are first up tomorrow and need to knock out the Buckeyes to do their part. I hate to be overconfident and jinx things, but I feel good about this game. First, I think there's some ugliness going on in the OSU locker room and their prima donna players who aren't getting the "me" time they think they deserve are calling out their coaches and questioning their decisions. Urban Meyer shrugs it off as the reaction of frustrated 20-year olds to losing, but he's no stranger to mutinous behavior. His I'm quitting/I'm staying/I'm quitting stunt at Florida left a bad taste down there and it looks like he could someday be heading for the same in Columbus. Lose another game and he'll be clutching his chest and considering a health-related resignation again. Fingers crossed, trouble in Columbus is good for Michigan tomorrow and in the future. 

I also think Jim Harbaugh has been saving up for this game since he took the job. He may even have been thinking about "If I was Michigan's head coach..." versus OSU scenarios for years while guzzling whole milk, eating steak, and saving programs elsewhere. All games are important but this one must feel very personal for him and for every player on the field. They need this win in their souls and the Buckeye's are ripe for the picking. At home in the Big House, riding on the high of a surprisingly good season -- this task is so very doable. If the Wolverines do win, and I believe they will, it will all harken back to Schembechler's The Team speech. It's worth remembering here and now. It's worth comparing to the behavior of the Buckeyes after their loss last week:

“We want the Big Ten championship and we’re gonna win it as a Team. They can throw out all those great backs, and great quarterbacks, and great defensive players, throughout the country and in this conference, but there’s gonna be one Team that’s gonna play solely as a Team. No man is more important than The Team. No coach is more important than The Team. The Team, The Team, The Team, and if we think that way, all of us, everything that you do, you take into consideration what effect does it have on my Team? Because you can go into professional football, you can go anywhere you want to play after you leave here. You will never play for a Team again. You’ll play for a contract. You’ll play for this. You’ll play for that. You’ll play for everything except the team, and think what a great thing it is to be a part of something that is, The Team. We’re gonna win it. We’re gonna win the championship again because we’re gonna play as team, better than anybody else in this conference, we’re gonna play together as a team. We’re gonna believe in each other, we’re not gonna criticize each other, we’re not gonna talk about each other, we’re gonna encourage each other. And when we play as a team, when the old season is over, you and I know, it’s gonna be Michigan again, Michigan.”

Jim Harbaugh's Wolverines, with every game, become more and more a living example of this old and timeless speech. It's how you can take essentially the same hapless team Brady Hoke fielded last year and forge it into a force to be reckoned with now. When Bo said "We’re gonna believe in each other, we’re not gonna criticize each other, we’re not gonna talk about each other, we’re gonna encourage each other," he could have been speaking of the current day Michigan and OSU teams directly - one exemplifying "The Team"; the other exemplifying the ills of men and coaches who are more important than the team.

It's too bad that Ezekiel Elliott, Cardale Jones, and other Buckeyes will never understand this concept. They have the comfort of a ring, but 20 years from now, will they still have their team? They may have a few million in the bank. But will they be part of a brotherhood that runs true for all time? Not likely (and they probably won't care.) It is what this Michigan team will have. Each other. And the support of every living member of every Michigan team that came down that tunnel before them, whether they won or lost on the field.

I’m putting my money on THE TEAM this weekend and will do so every weekend Jim Harbaugh is standing on the sidelines in maize and blue and khaki. Anything is possible now. OSU “can throw out all those great backs, and great quarterbacks, and great defensive players” but it’s hard for individual competitors to beat The Team. 

I think we have this one. And it's gonna be Michigan again, Michigan.

May there be a multitude of new reasons to be thankful this weekend! 

Go Blue! Beat OSU! And for good measure, Go Penn State! You have one job. Do it!

Harbaugh. Germs. Androids. Healthcare. Cider. A Sick Saturday Morning Stream of Consciousness

I hate being sick. It's bad enough during the week, but on a lovely fall weekend, it's the worst. I'm not miserable, mind you. Just a sore, tickly throat and a sinus thing going on that makes talking hurt and my voice sound like Demi Moore after gargling sand. Sadly, therein ends the comparison between me and Ms. Moore!

It's also messing with my brain, which explains my postless, almost tweetless week. My mind, when not in a deep, healing sleep, hasn't been capable of deep thinking on anything except my obsession with a big bowl of spicy (virus-destroyingl) Tom Yum and living 20 miles from the nearest good (well, even bad) Thai restaurant. I have yet to get the soup. I have yet to string together enough thoughts to inspire a great blog post.
Until my mind and body are back in sync, I'm going to offer up a window into my muddled brain through some slightly edited stream of consciousness as I struggle to start my Saturday. Here goes:

[Ten minutes later] God,I couldn't even stay awake to write the first sentence. There’s my phone buzzing. Oh, a favorite for my donut tweet. I wonder if there's still a maple-glazed downstairs? I should get out of bed and go watch Game Day. Why in the [radio edit] is Advair so expensive? I don't even know where Game Day is. Wireless is so slow upstairs. Xfinity bites. I am such a slug. Need more water, not more coffee. Good thing I turned down the Rutgers game today. I must not feel well if missing it doesn't even faze me. Jim Caldwell reminds me of Brady Hoke. He's not aware. Mike Riley is Nebraska's Bready Hoke. I like that my tablet associated Brady with bready. Ambulatory carbohydrates. How cool is it that the Beileins coached against each other? Juice. That would taste so good. Or cider. Why does Android auto-correct always think thge misty eyed [mistyped] word is right and the correct word shown is o thge left and not aotmatically corected? The donut was a bad choice. Sugar spike. I don't really want a hamburger tonight. German sounds better. Kid’s birthday, kein Metzger’s für uns heute Abend. There had better be a TV with the game on. Jim Bob Cooter is like the Waltons and Dukes of Hazzard collided and not in a good way. I remember the Rutgers game last year. Miracle? My TV survived Michigan 2014. Looked back at old posts and didn't even mention that heinous result. I should write a sentence starting with “Jim” based on Android autocorrect and predictive text suggestions: Jim Harbaugh has probably turned that in New Zealand. Alrighty, then. I have no idea what that says about me. That was fun! Let's try it again with “I”: I lost like they're shutting down academic Department for years to become a Dantonio. I am sicker than I thought. Must get up. This Android word suggestion thing could be writing crack. I can't see my lawn for all the leaves. Will we see Speight today? This is a big spread and I don't know if we'll beat it. PTSD from last year. Have faith. This should be another shutout. Shoutout! To whom I do not know. Martha Ford. I hope to be 90 and rich and feisty. More cojones than William Clay. Settle for 55 and rich. Pisses me off when people say a woman shouldn't run a macho thing like a football team. Like MEN have done so well with the Lions! I would pull out my own fingernails before getting on a Russian airplane. Glad my man likes my sports knowledge. Except when I learn about big MLB trades before him. David Price. Is Mike Babcock having fun in Toronto yet? Lidstrom. So great. Something other than IKEA worshipped both here and in Sweden. Hockey Hall of Fame, sorry, not fun unless you like sweaters and sticks. Conn-Smythe the best. Maple leaves. Canada. Ordered Strepsils from Canada because they're the best for sore throats. Why are Strepsils not in the US??? Why can't the U.S. have nice things like good OTC drugs? I love Shoppers Drug Mart. Or Hy and Zel's in Mississauga. Why am I still in bed? Game Day is over. Okay, I'll get going. Must start prepping 80 care packages for soldiers. 3:30 is coming quickly and then payback for last year. Feeling it. The things our soldiers request is breaking my heart. Warm bedding. Socks. This is 2015, not Washington at Valley Forge. Need something special for the Michigan soldier stuck living with Buckeyes and ‘Bama fans in APO BFE. Fighting the enemy. Living with them. He needs a big M flag. Should I assume he's an M fan? Do I care? Would sending a remote Spartan "M" gear make me a Tokyo Rose ... or be a kindness offered to a misguided soul far from home? Mike Riley could use a win today. Veiled MSU disrespect. If you say it, it's not so veiled, is it? My feet are on the floor. Open enrollment. Crap. Worst type of shopping ever. Stretching. Coughy. Coffee gone, so water it is. Up. Into this Maize and Blue day!

That experience was really cathartic. I highly recommend it.

My Android wanted to wish you the best for this day: 

Have a great Michigan football income supports all day and Harbaugh has to let us back as good carelessly fans and Harbaugh does not otherwise in Ann Arbor today!

I can say it a little better:

Go Blue! Beat Rutgers! Durkin Donuts (and hamburgers, it seems) for dinner!

Ruminating about MSU and the Audacity of Hoke

This little guy got multiple
concussions during the game.

I've returned to the living, back from the self-imposed period of dark and solitary reflection that started during the last play of the Michigan-MSU game when, as MGoBlog so rightly called it, "The Worst Thing Ever" happened. 

It was the Worst Thing Ever. I screamed and beat my Dammit Doll. I set a world record for the number of times "No!" was yelled in less than 10 seconds. I unleashed long and creatively strung together curses. Dinner out was cancelled. I couldn't even be bothered to get a calming beer or glass of wine. Dead inside, I slumped on the loveseat, stunned, ill, and unable to tend to anything but the most rudimentary functions. These feelings festered well into Sunday and the early part of the work week. I think I was actually depressed for awhile. When I did find some moments of respite, someone on the radio or TV or in social media would yank me back into my abysmal sadness. I read about the end and listened as the world talked about it. I have yet, though, to watch a replay of the Worst Thing Ever and hope I never will.

I was ruminating, which is defined as repetitively thinking about the causes, situational factors, and consequences of one's negative emotional experience. I'd certainly nominate the Worst Thing Ever as the mother of all negative emotional experiences. Psychology Today warns that rumination can lead to many bad things, including: 

• becoming depressed (was almost there)
• increased risk of alcohol abuse and eating disorders (would have been there if I could bother to get off the couch)
• fostering overall negative thinking (paranoid feelings that Jim Delany is out to get Michigan?)
• impaired problem-solving (does avoiding them count?)

So, with those evils before me, I'm determined to stop ruminating about something as unimportant in the world as MSU. It's ironic that this came to mind in writing about Michigan State, because East Lansing is home to a variety of ruminant creatures, like cows and sheep and Mark Dantonio. They're rather complex beasts. All I know about them is pretty much shown in this cross-section of a cow. It eats. The grass rolls around and does things in there that make acid reflux sound simple (and attractive.) And then it poops. Somehow these beasts lead to ice cream and cheese, so I can't knock them too much.

I always thought mental rumination was called that because thoughts rotated in the mind like the grass inside a cow. After this doleful week, I understand the relationship between the mental act and the cow much more clearly. It's not about the regurgitation process. It's about the poop. Cow poop. Mental poop. They're both stinky. And I felt like the end-product of bovine rumination for quite some time after Saturday.

So, in an effort to ease my mind and move on... to put steel in my spine as our coach recommends ... I will say nothing more about the game itself and my opinions of how it went. It's done. It's all been said already. I'm at peace now. (Mostly.) We're okay. It was a Great Horrible Accident. The rest of the season, culminating with the Buckeyes in the Big House, can still show us successes that we only dreamed of just one year ago. Let's put an end to this cud-chewing and look onward and upward, where our Wolverines are heading.

Speaking of last season, an uninvited blast from the past actually interceded mid-week to immediately take my mind off the evils of MSU and B1G officiating. His voice and his words were like bombs going off around Michigan fans just beginning to heal from their football PTSD. 

He's baaack!

After about 10 months of blessed Hokelessness, in which the Wolverines already have as many wins as they did the entire 2014 season, Brady Hoke emerged from exile, condescending to give his opinion of The Worst Thing Ever.

In doing so, he actually second-guessed Jim Harbaugh, saying he would have gone for it instead of punting at the end. He (and the 10 players he'd likely have on the field) would have accepted the risk of putting the Hail Mary ball into Connor Cook's hands, trusting the top-rated defense to keep him from burning us. Later he went on to say Harbaugh's success early at Michigan validates his rebuilding of the program. You know, his 31-20 upgrade from the late Carr/early Rich Rod years.

I call this, with apologies to Barack Obama, the Audacity of Hoke. The headset he now wears as a Sirius radio personality must be restricting oxygen-bearing red blood cells to his little head. Our former head clapper and sponsor of the words Well, practice, and apologize, left us in 2014 with a mortifying 5-7 record. Yet he was brimming with advice and opinion on all things Michigan and Harbaugh, speaking on his show and in some later interviews with SI. 

Listen to Hoke's entire SiriusXM statement on Soundcloud: 



Or enjoy his additional comments on Harbaugh, Michigan, his Wolverine legacy and his coaching future here at SI Campus Rush. Make free to laugh, weep, or gnash your teeth as you see fit. 

Hearing Hoke make noise about...

• his own end of game management (and ballsy decision-making), like that heartbreaker in Columbus and the 2 point conversion
• his growth of the program, almost to the point where you expect Harbaugh should be thanking him publicly
• his implication that he's somehow on par with Rich Rodriguez, Jim Harbaugh, David Cutcliffe, and others
• and wanting to be a coach in a Power 5 conference again 

...makes me feel that poor Brady has been a victim of excessive rumination himself since his firing in 2014. Signs of impaired decision-making are clear (opening his mouth and rather than stuffing it with pizza, commenting on the Worst Thing Ever AND judging Harbaugh's decisions) coupled with growing delusions of grandeur (Michigan's success this year has anything to do with him?) 

We see here a fine example of the dangers of letting your mind contemplate the negative too much. Brady Hoke's 2nd, 3rd, and 4th stomachs, in conjunction with his single brain, have created a masterpiece of ruminative (rear)end product this week. It isn't just about his regurgitation of his time at Michigan, it's about the poop. And apparently his has grown more fragrant in the aging. My nose, for one, isn't buying it. 

Luckily, he can get back to that pizza now.

A Needed Bye Week Break

We're in it, Wolverines. Enjoy it. Look forward to the onward and upward sans cows, Horrible Accidents, and the revisionist history of our discarded coaches. The rest of the season starts next week.

Go Blue! Beat Beat the Gophers!

Easy Lies the Head That Wears the Tiara

Whew! Have you ever had a short week that seems very long yet you have no time to do what you want to do... like write your post for the week? Well, that's been my week. I don't mind when fun interrupts writing, but how dare work interfere with it? When you work in customer service for a software company and your entire network hosting center crashes and your systems fade to black, blog posts are shoved to the bottom of the agenda quickly! But, it's Friday, my work week is now over, and it's looking like a great maize and blue Michigan weekend! I can't wait for it to start!

I spent the past weekend in Northern Michigan with seven of my girlfriends on our 24th Annual Girls Weekend. I wrote about this annual trek last year not long after I started this blog. It's a time we look forward to as a group, partly for the shopping, serious girl talk and chick flick wallows. It's also our time for relentless wine and beer "tasting" and some friendly group football rivalries. This year we topped it all off, so to speak, by sporting beautiful tiaras with genuine faux diamantes everywhere.

Tiaras for World Peace and Adult Beverages; U-M alums
are 4th (my MGoFriend Val) and 7th (MGoGirl) from left.
The rest of the crowd boasts Badger & Spartan alums, 
Spartan moms, Hurons, & ladies too sweet to pick sides.

Photo credit: Harbor, Inc.

On Saturday, our day trip led us to Harbor Springs to visit Pond Hill Farm's Tunnel Vision Brewery and Winery, followed by a royal appearance at the inaugural Harbor Springs Beer Festival. The two of us who are Michigan alumnae were very aware of being knee deep in Spartan shi.., er... territory. Green coats and hats and other dreary, mossy-looking apparel surrounded us at every turn although I sensed other U-M fans were among us. As we know, the Wolverine is a much more elusive and stealthy killer beast than the noisy, muscle-bound Spartan! It was all very civil and fun as we smiled and waved our way about town. I can tell you, a boldly worn tiara at a public venue may be the answer to world peace. Spartans, Wolverines, and everyone we encountered were charmed by our sparkling presence and sought our benevolent attention everywhere we went.

In between beers and dancing and explanations of our headgear, we caught most of the Michigan-Northwestern game via mobile updates, arriving home to the cottage just in time to catch the last five glorious minutes of a rout that was supposed to be a challenge. As we then watched the MSU-Rutgers game, the Wolverines among us tried hard, in the interest of friendship, not to giggle and fist bump with every Spartan miscue or Scarlet Knights' success. Although a little part of me wanted MSU to lose a humiliating game to a B1G cellar dweller, it ended as it needed to: with their undefeated status intact but smudged yet again by lackluster play and difficulty with a team they should have devoured. For the realization of Michigan's dreams to be even sweeter, they needed the Spartans to enter the Big House tomorrow 6-0, still convinced of their superiority and dripping with excuses for being the luckiest undefeated team in the country.

I know Jim Harbaugh doesn't believe in jinxes so I'm not going to worry about them either. Well, except for the navy blue polish on my toes that will be there until they lose. I'll just say it. I have a really good feeling about Saturday. A this-is-destiny feeling about it. I'm sure MSU will play the best game of their season against us. Mark Dantonio will show some things he's been saving just for October 17. You know there's going to be a fake punt or other trick in there somewhere.

I'm equally certain that Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines have some surprises up their sleeves, too. After watching nearly every Michigan game and every Spartan game this season, I can't come to any other conclusion: Michigan, right now, is the better overall team and has the ability to emerge from this match victorious. 

I don't have any hard science backing me and you can still find "experts" claiming that MSU remains one of the best teams in the country and a contender for the national playoff. I don't know which MSU they've been watching, but the one I've seen isn't the team it was last year. Whether they're missing Narduzzi, struggling with injuries, or just aren't aligned, they aren't playing like they're hungry to remain in the Top 10. Their wins at times seem more like SOLs (Short Of a Loss) than convincing Ws. On the other hand, I think Michigan is looking sharper every week. The offense is steadily improving and Rudock is slowly finding his confidence as a leader. Special teams are making big contributions. And the defense, well, if Connor Cook isn't looking at our D line-up with more than a little trepidation, he's nuts. I fully expect Mr. Cook to be pulling little green and black rubber bits from his ears, nose, and teeth before the end of the game.


As a newly experienced crown-wearer, I can tell you, it feels good. It feels right. The attention is addictive and the feelings of confidence and invincibility are heady. I think it can also be a burden. I hear it's lonely at the top. You're a target for usurpers. The weight of expectations and the heavy eyes of critics watch your every move. It takes a toll. 

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." Shakespeare gives these words to Henry IV, who cannot rest or find the nightly peace that even his most lowly subjects enjoy. Ohio State wears a national crown. MSU has worn a conference crown. Both have lorded over the Wolverines for years, relegating our once proud program to the yeoman's rank or what even began to feel like serfdom at times. 

From all I can tell now, the crowns are weighing heavy in East Lansing and Columbus these days. It's hard to stay on top and do it honorably. It's difficult not to swoon in the oxygen-starved heights at the top of the polls. You believe that you've arrived and it feels so good and no one is going to take it away from you. You know that your hated rival has been reduced to a joke and that you will own them for years to come. No one can question your right to be at the top. No one can disrespect the crown and the success it represents. 

Well, the crown is bearing down hard and the Spartans are going to feel the weight of it this Saturday. I don't know if we'll win or not. I could be way out of line in thinking we have this in the bag. What I do know is MSU is going to look the usurper in the eye and feel the heat of a Michigan revolution. As Mark Dantonio said in 2007, as the crown became heavy for Michigan, "Let's just remember, pride comes before the fall...it’s not over and it’ll never be over here. It’s just starting...Their time will come."

And ol' Miralax Mark was right. Our time did come and we served it in Hell, thank you. And we learned a lot about ourselves along the way. We're better fans and a better team for it now. I could easily toss Dantonio's words back to him regarding his team today. I feel it happening - a palpable shift in power and momentum between East Lansing and Ann Arbor. It's driven by a body of highly energized sub-atomic particles that I defy Stephen Hawking to explain: Jim Harbaugh.

I would advise the Spartans to enjoy the weight of their crown while they can. The Once and Future King is on the march and an army 110,000 strong will be behind him and his team tomorrow. It will be loud. It will be hostile. It just might be beautiful.

No matter what happens, the Wolverine head that wears this tiara hasn't rested this easily in quite some time! 

Now go, my Wolverines, and hasten to your posts. Eat and drink merrily! Be fierce in your support of our team, shouting lustily...

Go Blue! Beat State!

Musings on a Maize and Blue Autumn Weekend

Ye of Little Faith, Believe!

Before driving to Ann Arbor yesterday morning, I did a quick check of Twitter and ran through a few MGoBlog posts, trying to gauge feelings for the upcoming BYU game, our first against a ranked opponent under Coach Harbaugh. 

I found a mixed bag of predictions. Some thought Michigan would beat the spread with no problem. Others thought they might eke out a 1 point victory. And sadly, but understandably, many still gave the edge to BYU. Based on BYU's results season-to-date, with wins over Nebraska and Boise State, followed by a painfully close loss to UCLA, people seemed confident that BYU was well-tested and deserving of their Top 25 ranking. That Michigan had lost a close one to a decent* Utah team and had good, but somewhat ugly wins over Oregon State and UNLV wasn't enough for many fans to follow their hearts over their heads.
* We now know that excellent is a better description.

I was almost one of the latter. It's hard to forget how things would have gone down the last few seasons in the same situation. We would have every reason to expect the worst. In this first year of Harbaugh, we've probably all practiced the phrase "This year might be a little rough, but just wait..."  

This year, though, even when my mind says "winning is not likely," I'm physically and mentally unable to say "We stand no chance." Those four words that were my mantra last year feel foreign on my tongue today. 

It's because I now have belief and I have it in spades. I can see and feel and hear Harbaugh's Michigan. Hourly. Daily. Weekly. 

There are Michigan voices in the air, new affirmations at every turn, and yes, things are starting to happen. I didn't expect it so soon, but there it is. I refuse to doubt this team under almost any circumstances for the simple reason that they make me feel that nothing is impossible. How freeing is it to think that for a change! I never feared BYU because I had a gut feeling something great was coming and this team would step up, prove their worth, and open some eyes. And they did. While some top teams have been struggling to demonstrate real dominance and others have been exposed as frauds altogether, Michigan continues to improve at a steady rate. This coaching staff is the real deal. They've weeded out the weak and unwilling and they're slowly and methodically recarving the block M in the list of college football worthies. It feels pretty awesome, doesn't it?

So, believe, people, BELIEVE. Be willing to be humble if things go awry (and they still will), but go about your day believing that anything is possible for the Wolverines under this leadership. This season is like reading a mystery, one chapter a week and the plot is getting thicker with every page. I don't know who's guilty at the end, but I think Jim Harbaugh did it in the Big House with a Team.

I'll Have a Weiner on a Whole Grain Batard

Fools are among us. Jon "Stugotz" Weiner, of ESPN Radio (on the Dan La Batard Show) probably just figured out that Jim Harbaugh wasn't still in play for Oakland, when he announced this week:

"I pride myself on seeing things before others see it, and I'm telling you right now, he is going to break Michigan's heart," Stugotz said. "I'm telling you, Chuck Pagano is out at Indianapolis. There is no way Jim Harbaugh is going to pass up the chance to, a.) get back in the NFL, and b.) coach Andrew Luck in the NFL...Jim Harbaugh, next season, will be the Colts' head coach." [from freep.com article by Steve Schrader]

I know this is just another clueless ESPN crapweasel looking for attention, because no one on the outside of the Jim Harbaugh orbit can claim to comprehend what drives Jim Harbaugh. That someone would take on a hard luck challenge like Michigan and ask for a less than top salary in doing so simply does not compute with the NFL-worshipping hacks at Egotistical Self-Promotion News.

Weiner, you're aptly named and will be exposed soon enough. Harbaugh isn't going anywhere. He and his brother have divided the world and Jim's on a different warpath. He's back in the place he loves most doing what he loves most to restore the team he loves most. His grandkids will be assistant coaches at Michigan before he's finally carted off the sideline in a maize and blue golf cart for the last time in front of a loving, cheering crowd. 

At least Weiner is self aware.

The Michigan State Feelings Status Meter

And because I am endlessly amused at the Spartan capacity for a) not enjoying success, b) needing Dave Brandon levels of validation, and c) using logic that would evade Einstein in defending the value of their current undefeated status, I bring you the Spartan Feelings Meter. I'll try to update this regularly until my mission is complete and Mark Dantonio is so puckered up he's forced to drink his weight in Miralax to dislodge the solid form of his hatred for Michigan and Jim Harbaugh (and everyone else in the world who doesn't fall all over MSU.)

As you can see, this week's trouncing of Oregon (who Sparty barely beat) by Utah (who barely beat Michigan who soundly beat BYU who almost beat UCLA who just kicked Arizona) and the resultant questioning of the value of their signature win has registered Sparty as Upset/Apprehensive. Still firmly in the Safe Zone, but trending upward. 

And who can blame them? Their "quality" opponent, Oregon, has been booted from the Top 25, leaving them a 3 point win over someone Utah beat 62-20 and less than dominant wins over the MAC and Air Force. Michigan's now played two teams in the current Top 25, losing it close to Utah (while outgaining them) and giving BYU what may now be called a Durkin Donut ...no points. 

I don't know what will happen on October 17, but it's going to be more of a game than anyone will give Michigan credit for. 

Quoteworthy Harbaugh

And finally, here are some of my favorite quotes from the Coach this week. Sometimes flaky. Often clever. Always ours. 

On Turnovers (from the Monday night radio show)
"It's kind of like the olive jar. We haven't gotten a lot of turnovers and it's like opening up a new jar of olives. You open it up, turn it over and you can't get one olive to come out. People know that. They're packed in there so tight, you can't get one to come out. But if you can just get one to come out, the rest come plopping out. That's what we're hoping for with these turnovers. We've gotten one, we've gotten two and now hopefully they come out in droves."

On the crowd and atmosphere at the Big House during the BYU game

"I had a couple occasions to look up and go 'this is good'... This is really good for us and good for football. It looked good. Attitude of gratitude about that and the way our team plays and the way they prepare.”

We agree, Jim. We agree. 

Go Blue! Beat Maryland!