A Simple Recap of the Michigan-MSU Game

There's not much good to say so here's the recap of the travesty in East Lansing as I saw it today. Without the benefit of adult beverages, which proved my biggest mistake.

The Offensive Line 

Yes, it was Offensive, but only in the sense that stinky cheese is offensive (and full of holes.)

Figure 1

The Running Game

Today, the University of Michigan moved this 250 year old oak tree 100 yards from its original location near the Ross School of Business. Officially, the old oak rushed for 35 more yards than Michigan did the entire game. Slow, strong as, well, oak, and right up the middle. Old school Michigan style. Michigan offensive player of the week? Yes, I think so.

Photo: Tyler Stabile | The Ann Arbor News

Passing

Gardner was on his back much less than last year, so at least it was stronger stinky cheese. The receivers tried to catch stuff. Mostly they didn't when it really mattered. Except for the MSU defensive receivers who snagged two nice catches, one resulting in Gardner's only TD pass of the game. For MSU.

The Defense

I really don't know. I tended to look away when they were on the field and they were on the field A LOT. Something about all the MSU domination and scoring just wasn't interesting to me. Although highly ranked at the start of the game, the defense spent much of its time looking like the stinky cheese in Figure 1.

Special Teams

Dancing. There was no dancing. This is a game that could have used some Atomic Dog. We could have smiled once, just once, during this game. Was that too much to ask?

The Final Analysis

Brady Hoke said it best in his post-game press conference. He was speaking about his knowledge of the incident in which a Michigan player planted a spear tent stake (sheesh, overdramatic much in East Lansing?) in front of the Spartans before the game. Hoke said he was aware, "but not fully aware." And that folks, sums up the last four years of the Hoke era in Ann Arbor. Aware, but not fully aware. Awake but not fully awake. Playing, but not fully executing. Developing but not fully getting there. Young, but never maturing. Growing but never leading. For Hoke that means employed, but not much longer. 

And now, about that adult beverage...